1 00:00:29,373 --> 00:00:31,900 Tom: Alistair Chadwick, Jr. 2 00:00:31,940 --> 00:00:34,310 Glendale, California. 3 00:00:34,793 --> 00:00:35,940 He's got a phone number on here. 4 00:00:36,373 --> 00:00:37,910 His number's on here, Pete. 5 00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:39,850 Good. 6 00:00:40,380 --> 00:00:41,270 Do you know who I'm talking about? 7 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,686 Yeah, the, um... 8 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,190 the bloke you're always talking about. 9 00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:47,890 That's right. I thought you weren't listening. 10 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:49,430 No. God, no. 11 00:00:49,586 --> 00:00:51,690 - Hello. - Hello. 12 00:00:52,073 --> 00:00:52,960 - This is... - Oh. 13 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:52,980 ...Thomas Chadwick. - This is... - Oh. 14 00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:54,630 ...Thomas Chadwick. 15 00:00:54,740 --> 00:00:58,640 I'm looking to speak to Alistair Chadwick, Jr. 16 00:00:58,806 --> 00:01:01,373 This is a voicemail. I just realized. 17 00:01:01,486 --> 00:01:06,926 I am a... your relative in London, England. 18 00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:11,633 And I have got your details from tracemypast.net. 19 00:01:11,766 --> 00:01:16,650 We are spawned from the great Chadwick oak. 20 00:01:16,690 --> 00:01:19,273 So let's chat about how great that is. 21 00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:20,270 Thank you very much. 22 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,630 Y'all have a nice... come back and see us, now. 23 00:01:22,646 --> 00:01:24,200 You hear? 24 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:25,730 They'll love that. 25 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,200 - Yeah. - That was your out. 26 00:01:27,230 --> 00:01:29,470 They probably thought I was an idiot until they heard that. 27 00:01:29,613 --> 00:01:31,740 And then they're like, "Oh, he's just one of us." 28 00:01:31,846 --> 00:01:33,100 One of the gang. 29 00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:34,293 - Oh, f... - ( crashes ) 30 00:01:34,366 --> 00:01:36,540 You've made me crash. 31 00:01:38,780 --> 00:01:40,133 These are so old. 32 00:01:40,253 --> 00:01:42,230 Oh, Tom, you'll never guess 33 00:01:42,246 --> 00:01:44,720 what old muggins here has got to do this week. 34 00:01:44,750 --> 00:01:46,680 Uh, finishing primary school. 35 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:47,686 No. 36 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,620 Um, you're going dogging in Kew Gardens. 37 00:01:49,650 --> 00:01:50,613 No, you won't guess. 38 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:54,226 I have got to get alpaca spoo 39 00:01:54,246 --> 00:01:56,206 to inseminate a hembra. 40 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:58,306 Typical me. 41 00:01:58,333 --> 00:01:59,970 I... I mean, I didn't understand any of it. 42 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,800 I've got to get spoo from an alpaca... 43 00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:03,640 Spoo? 44 00:02:03,813 --> 00:02:04,670 Spoo. 45 00:02:05,586 --> 00:02:07,010 Spoo. 46 00:02:07,433 --> 00:02:09,360 You know, spoo, spunk, jizz, 47 00:02:09,406 --> 00:02:11,510 cock snot, baby batter, nut butter. 48 00:02:11,550 --> 00:02:12,980 - Semen. - Semen. 49 00:02:13,010 --> 00:02:14,050 - That's another one. - I'm familiar with it. 50 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,250 Yeah, so I've got to get alpaca spoo 51 00:02:17,573 --> 00:02:20,620 to inseminate a hembra, a female alpaca, 52 00:02:20,846 --> 00:02:21,920 and have a baby. 53 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,760 And what's a baby alpaca called? 54 00:02:26,206 --> 00:02:28,730 Oh, God! It's the new Sherlock Holmes. 55 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:30,400 That's an unusual name. 56 00:02:30,666 --> 00:02:32,230 Watson: You seem a bit preoccupied, Holmes. 57 00:02:33,593 --> 00:02:35,300 Do you notice anything unusual, Watson? 58 00:02:36,266 --> 00:02:37,740 It does seem a bit hot in here. 59 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:39,670 Your capacity for gauging the subtle changes 60 00:02:39,710 --> 00:02:42,310 in your own body temperature is admirable, Watson, 61 00:02:42,740 --> 00:02:44,310 but the warmth you are feeling is the result of having 62 00:02:44,350 --> 00:02:46,550 more Marmite than usual on your sandwich at lunch. 63 00:02:47,193 --> 00:02:49,250 And as a doctor, you would know that yeast extract 64 00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:50,850 contains a high amount of niacin, 65 00:02:51,580 --> 00:02:53,220 which has caused you to experience a slight heat flash. 66 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,190 ( paper tearing ) 67 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:56,990 Holmes: However, my concerns 68 00:02:57,030 --> 00:03:00,230 are somewhat more cosmic in nature. 69 00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:02,260 Watson: I don't understand. 70 00:03:02,726 --> 00:03:03,730 What are you doing? 71 00:03:04,006 --> 00:03:05,670 Getting my DNA 72 00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:07,500 to speed up the whole family tree thing. 73 00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:10,110 Yeah? Give us a go. 74 00:03:12,306 --> 00:03:14,010 It kind of defeats the purpose if you use the same... 75 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,180 I want to do it. 76 00:03:15,333 --> 00:03:17,350 Why can't I do it? 77 00:03:18,310 --> 00:03:20,110 All right. 78 00:03:23,750 --> 00:03:24,990 Yeah, okay. 79 00:03:27,633 --> 00:03:29,790 - Could we be related? - I don't think so. 80 00:03:29,926 --> 00:03:31,560 I hope not. 81 00:03:32,326 --> 00:03:33,800 Tom: I'm no button expert. 82 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,730 I've never claimed to be one. 83 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:38,170 But I think these are American. 84 00:03:38,473 --> 00:03:39,770 It's got an eagle on it 85 00:03:40,146 --> 00:03:42,440 and it says "quality" on the back. 86 00:03:42,813 --> 00:03:45,340 So it can't be made in England. 87 00:03:45,506 --> 00:03:48,810 These people are American... Charles and Rebecca Chadwick. 88 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,920 But they left America. 89 00:03:51,260 --> 00:03:54,326 When everybody else from England and Ireland were on ships 90 00:03:54,350 --> 00:03:55,790 heading over to the East Coast, 91 00:03:56,026 --> 00:03:57,990 Charles and Rebecca Chadwick 92 00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,960 came from America on their own 93 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,830 to spawn Harry Chadwick, my great-granddad, 94 00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:05,630 and later me and all of these guys 95 00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:08,900 and this guy, Brian, my great-uncle. 96 00:04:08,940 --> 00:04:12,013 And later his sons Graham Chadwick 97 00:04:12,346 --> 00:04:15,440 and Ronnie Chadwick, who I've tracked down. 98 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,510 And they run a farm in Derbyshire. 99 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,910 I'm gonna go and see them 'cause I want answers. 100 00:04:20,950 --> 00:04:23,450 Tom: Think this is good? 101 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:24,880 Mr. Pfister: Yeah, I'm not sure, Tommy. 102 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,450 I think this might be more Warwickshire 103 00:04:26,490 --> 00:04:27,690 or Leicestershire than Derbyshire. 104 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,620 I just want to make sure that I fit in. 105 00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,090 This is nice. 106 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,360 Did I tell you that I met Sarah at Sainsbury's? 107 00:04:33,390 --> 00:04:35,630 It was good. Really nice. 108 00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:37,360 The first time since...? 109 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,760 Yeah, first time since we broke up. 110 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,200 So it was good. She was looking well. She was looking... 111 00:04:41,230 --> 00:04:43,100 Um, she was with someone. 112 00:04:43,140 --> 00:04:45,700 - Some guy called Clint. - Clint? 113 00:04:45,740 --> 00:04:47,440 It was closure, actually. It felt nice. 114 00:04:47,470 --> 00:04:50,110 Although she did do this thing where she'd... 115 00:04:50,140 --> 00:04:52,450 that kind of, you know... "Hey, Tom," you know? 116 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,050 She'd kind of drop her head to one side. 117 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:55,610 I'm like, "I'm not having that." 118 00:04:55,650 --> 00:04:57,490 So then I was like, "Oh, I'm fine. How are you?" 119 00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,690 She was wearing red lipstick. 120 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,590 I used to love when she would wear red lipstick. 121 00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:04,020 She would never wear it for me 122 00:05:04,060 --> 00:05:05,830 because she thought it looked too slutty. 123 00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:07,460 She would wear this pale pink shit. 124 00:05:07,490 --> 00:05:10,060 But, no, Clint likes red lipstick, so she's all over it. 125 00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:12,300 She looks like a big sexy clown mouth. 126 00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:14,170 I think this is good. 127 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,540 I like the hat. 128 00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:17,900 Just top it off. What do you reckon? 129 00:05:19,170 --> 00:05:20,740 - You want my honest opinion? - Yeah. 130 00:05:20,780 --> 00:05:23,040 You look like a grade-A cock, man. 131 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:24,680 That's great. 132 00:05:24,710 --> 00:05:27,110 Man: Thanks for coming in, Mr. Chadwick. 133 00:05:27,150 --> 00:05:28,980 Tom: Sure. Sure, no problem. 134 00:05:29,020 --> 00:05:31,590 Are you familiar with the new software? 135 00:05:32,820 --> 00:05:34,190 The new software... 136 00:05:34,220 --> 00:05:38,130 Which... which one would be the new software? 137 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,730 The industry standard software 138 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,430 that we all have to use now. 139 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:45,930 We were more hands-on. 140 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:49,040 We would use models and... 141 00:05:49,070 --> 00:05:52,070 So you don't know how to use the software? 142 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,550 No. 143 00:05:59,410 --> 00:06:01,650 All right. Um... 144 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,180 Please give me the job. 145 00:06:08,620 --> 00:06:11,290 ( children playing ) 146 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,260 Pete: Right, come on in, Taurus. 147 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,160 Step one: impregnation. 148 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,400 Getting you in the mood... 149 00:06:17,430 --> 00:06:19,130 for lovemaking. 150 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:22,200 Oh, look at her. Eh? 151 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,900 You know she's got a really long neck 152 00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:28,470 and little, short, stubby legs 153 00:06:28,510 --> 00:06:30,110 and a great big ass. 154 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,810 I don't know what's up with Taurus. 155 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:34,810 He might not be ready to be a dad. 156 00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:36,580 Do you know what? If someone was... 157 00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:39,850 'cause I was there watching him, telling him to get hard. 158 00:06:39,890 --> 00:06:42,590 And that's... that's an added level 159 00:06:42,620 --> 00:06:45,660 of pressure and anxiety 160 00:06:45,690 --> 00:06:47,560 that no bloke needs, 161 00:06:47,590 --> 00:06:49,330 and no one wants that to happen. 162 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,430 But I imagine being a dad. 163 00:06:51,470 --> 00:06:53,470 How cool would that be? 164 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,700 I'd love to be a dad. 165 00:06:55,740 --> 00:06:59,670 I mean, I've got to find the right girl first. 166 00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:01,810 None of the girls I'm seeing at the moment are... 167 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:04,380 they're not mother material. 168 00:07:04,410 --> 00:07:07,780 Well, one of them is a mother. 169 00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:09,980 But the others are like 16 and 18. 170 00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:13,620 I met her at an over-40s night in Catford. 171 00:07:13,660 --> 00:07:16,090 And she's a terrible mom, actually. 172 00:07:16,130 --> 00:07:17,490 I mean, so I wouldn't... 173 00:07:17,530 --> 00:07:19,330 none of the ones I'm seeing would be... 174 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:23,700 but if I meet the right girl, I'm happy to have a baby. 175 00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:25,300 It'd be a little babe... 176 00:07:25,330 --> 00:07:26,800 and I'd wear it on a papoose 177 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:30,100 and then I'd push him on the swings and the roundabouts. 178 00:07:30,140 --> 00:07:33,910 Then I'd have a go, 'cause I still love playgrounds, 179 00:07:33,940 --> 00:07:35,510 especially when drunk. 180 00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:45,120 Keith: I get a bit nervous once we get out of town, you know? 181 00:07:45,150 --> 00:07:47,320 I don't trust nature. It's anarchy. 182 00:07:50,630 --> 00:07:53,260 ( sighs ) 183 00:07:53,290 --> 00:07:55,360 I wonder why Brian and William fell out. 184 00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:59,300 Could be a million things. 185 00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:01,400 Maybe he was locked in an attic. 186 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,740 Didn't get out much. Ate cat food. 187 00:08:04,770 --> 00:08:07,110 Mildred said that one of them could do no good 188 00:08:07,140 --> 00:08:08,610 and one of them could do no bad. 189 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:10,580 - What does that mean? - I don't know. 190 00:08:10,610 --> 00:08:12,810 It's probably something very mundane. 191 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,390 - Has someone farted? - Monkey. 192 00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:20,390 - I farted. - No, that's her lunch. 193 00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:22,260 ( farts ) 194 00:08:22,290 --> 00:08:23,960 - ( phone beeps ) - Ooh. 195 00:08:23,990 --> 00:08:25,890 Sorry. 196 00:08:25,930 --> 00:08:27,360 Oh. 197 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,600 - What's up? - Al. 198 00:08:29,630 --> 00:08:32,100 - Remember I was telling you about Al in California? - Yeah. 199 00:08:32,130 --> 00:08:34,170 He just text... he's going to... 200 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,800 he's going to call me later. 201 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:37,710 - What's his relation to us? - Oh, God. 202 00:08:37,740 --> 00:08:41,040 He's... he'd be your... 203 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,210 a third cousin of yours. 204 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:44,640 - Aye. - Yeah. 205 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:47,510 - He seems really nice. - Uh-oh. 206 00:08:47,550 --> 00:08:50,920 - Bea, stop car, please. - Uh-oh, that's her number two face. 207 00:08:50,950 --> 00:08:52,590 - I think you'd better pull over. - Stop car. 208 00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:55,520 Sausage need to leave me. Stop car! 209 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,160 I'm going to. I'm going to. 210 00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:58,990 - Look for a place to pull over, Bea. - Hurry, hurry! 211 00:08:59,030 --> 00:09:00,690 - All right! - Calm down! 212 00:09:00,730 --> 00:09:02,860 - Jesus Christ! - I need to go! 213 00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:04,860 Bea: Shut up. 214 00:09:19,380 --> 00:09:22,580 God, that is a primitive woman. 215 00:09:23,450 --> 00:09:25,620 Oh. 216 00:09:27,050 --> 00:09:29,320 "I think that I shall never see 217 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,990 A poem as lovely as a tree. 218 00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,090 Poems are made by fools like me, 219 00:09:35,130 --> 00:09:38,100 But only God can make a tree." 220 00:09:38,130 --> 00:09:39,130 I didn't write that. 221 00:09:39,170 --> 00:09:40,800 It's just... that was written by... 222 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,770 ( Luba shouting in Moldovan ) 223 00:09:48,910 --> 00:09:51,380 Trees are great. 224 00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:56,350 - All good? - Yes. 225 00:09:56,380 --> 00:09:58,250 I think you're missing something. 226 00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:00,890 Didn't you have the complete set? 227 00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:03,990 Yeah? 228 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,760 Christ. 229 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:10,260 Good-bye Kitty. 230 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:13,570 "Preparing the AV device. 231 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,300 Semen can be collected in several ways. 232 00:10:16,340 --> 00:10:18,740 There's the use of an artificial vagina..." 233 00:10:18,770 --> 00:10:21,570 Which is what AV stand... artificial vagina. 234 00:10:21,610 --> 00:10:23,310 "...electro ejaculator, 235 00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:25,210 or by massaging by hand." 236 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:28,250 Mm-mm. I'll go with the artificial vagina. 237 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,920 Right. 238 00:10:50,570 --> 00:10:52,300 Tom: Well, this must be it. 239 00:10:52,340 --> 00:10:54,440 Monkey: Oh, hallelujah. 240 00:10:59,010 --> 00:11:01,110 - Man: Heyo. You all right? - You must be Graham. 241 00:11:01,150 --> 00:11:02,480 - I'm Graham, yeah. - I'm your cousin Keith. 242 00:11:02,510 --> 00:11:03,680 - Keith. - I'm the city mouse. 243 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,220 - My wife Luba. - Do what, love? 244 00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:08,050 - Luba. - Oh, right. 245 00:11:08,090 --> 00:11:09,190 - Yeah. - Orange head. 246 00:11:09,220 --> 00:11:10,190 - Here's Bea. - Hello. How are you? 247 00:11:10,220 --> 00:11:12,020 - And this is Tom. - Hello. 248 00:11:12,060 --> 00:11:14,190 - Hiya. - Bloody hell, you're a size, ain't you? 249 00:11:14,230 --> 00:11:16,290 - I'm a big fella. - Ayup. I'm Emma. 250 00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:17,930 - Hello, P... - What's all this, then? 251 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,000 Hello, everybody. 252 00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:23,200 Emma, Carol, Henry, down there's Sweet Pea. 253 00:11:23,270 --> 00:11:25,350 - Aw. - Remember that 'cause there'll be a test later. 254 00:11:25,370 --> 00:11:27,000 - ( all laugh ) - Yeah. 255 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,810 Right, well, you guys better... 256 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:30,440 are you all right to take them? 257 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,380 - Where are they going? - Cinema. 258 00:11:32,410 --> 00:11:33,510 Cinema's fun, isn't it? 259 00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:34,640 Do you wanna come inside? 260 00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:35,850 That'd be great, Graham. Thanks. 261 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,150 Why don't you come and meet... 262 00:11:37,180 --> 00:11:39,050 Ronnie's in the barn, so you might as well come and... 263 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,520 - Yeah, I'll go and say hi to Ronnie. - Keith: We'll see you in a bit. 264 00:11:41,550 --> 00:11:43,150 Will you put the kettle on, Graham, for... 265 00:11:43,190 --> 00:11:45,960 - Oh, right, yeah. - Luba: Where is pig? 266 00:11:45,990 --> 00:11:48,290 She wants to meet your pig. She's mad for pigs. 267 00:11:48,330 --> 00:11:50,730 So you've been up in Derbyshire before, then? 268 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:52,930 I don't believe so. I don't believe so. 269 00:11:52,970 --> 00:11:55,600 The air is very distinctive. 270 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,440 Yeah, it's the manure, I'm afraid. 271 00:11:59,310 --> 00:12:01,570 ( moos ) 272 00:12:01,610 --> 00:12:03,680 - Emma: Ronnie? - Yeah? 273 00:12:03,710 --> 00:12:06,910 - Tom's here. - Oh, Tom! You made it. 274 00:12:06,950 --> 00:12:08,450 I did. Look at all these. 275 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,180 How lovely to meet you. 276 00:12:11,390 --> 00:12:14,090 Is there a problem? Why don't you...? 277 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,520 I'm joking. It's just one of the old... 278 00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:18,560 - Oh. - He does that every time. 279 00:12:18,590 --> 00:12:20,260 - Yeah. - Every time. 280 00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:22,300 I've left your dad making the tea, so it's gonna be a disaster. 281 00:12:22,330 --> 00:12:23,530 - See you later. - Okay, thank you. 282 00:12:23,570 --> 00:12:24,770 Well, welcome. Here we are. 283 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,500 Look at all those lovely ladies. 284 00:12:26,530 --> 00:12:28,840 Lovely ladies, yeah. And they're all pregnant, actually. 285 00:12:28,870 --> 00:12:31,370 - How can you tell? - Ah, well, there you go. You see? 286 00:12:31,410 --> 00:12:33,570 - Oh, you put your hand up them, don't you? - Put your hand up them. 287 00:12:33,610 --> 00:12:35,380 That's what we've been doing for the last two days. 288 00:12:35,410 --> 00:12:38,410 Do they have funny eating habits when they're pregnant? 289 00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:41,150 - No. - Like, are they like, "I don't want straw, 290 00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:44,620 I want avocado mousse and vanilla yogurt"? 291 00:12:44,650 --> 00:12:45,790 No. 292 00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:48,920 Do you keep any of that close by in case? 293 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,730 No. No. 294 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,360 No, they just stay with the hay. 295 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,230 That's... yeah. 296 00:12:54,260 --> 00:12:56,260 Oh, that's a handsome woman, that is. 297 00:12:56,300 --> 00:12:58,070 Graham: Yeah. Yeah. 298 00:12:58,100 --> 00:13:00,700 Sorry. Very sorry. 299 00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:02,500 Well, you know what they say... 300 00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:05,470 "rooster today, feather duster tomorrow." 301 00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:07,180 More truth in poetry there. 302 00:13:07,210 --> 00:13:08,710 - A shame. - Yeah. 303 00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:10,610 - How'd she go, then? - Lung cancer. 304 00:13:10,650 --> 00:13:12,680 - Was she a smoker? - Like a fucking chimney. 305 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,820 Yeah, I gave them up myself. 306 00:13:14,850 --> 00:13:16,220 Yeah. 307 00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:18,720 Well, it's... 308 00:13:23,230 --> 00:13:25,530 Is that "Move Along, Please!"? 309 00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:26,700 Yeah. 310 00:13:26,730 --> 00:13:28,030 That's my favorite program. 311 00:13:28,070 --> 00:13:29,330 Go on. 312 00:13:29,370 --> 00:13:31,000 - Yeah. - Richard Breen. 313 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,940 Oh, there's a funny man. 314 00:13:32,970 --> 00:13:34,870 - Richard...? - Richard Breen. 315 00:13:34,910 --> 00:13:35,910 Richard Breen, yeah. 316 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,310 You know, Sergeant Biggins. 317 00:13:37,340 --> 00:13:41,010 - I do, yeah. Keith. Eh. - What? 318 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,280 ( laughs ) 319 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,250 You don't... get out of here. 320 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,550 ( laughing ) 321 00:13:47,590 --> 00:13:49,290 - May I? - Yeah. Easy, easy. 322 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,560 There he is. There's Sergeant Biggins. 323 00:13:51,590 --> 00:13:53,220 Rare as rocking horse shit, that. 324 00:13:53,260 --> 00:13:54,390 I'll bet. 325 00:13:54,430 --> 00:13:55,560 How did you score this? 326 00:13:55,590 --> 00:13:57,530 Swapped it for Julie Andrews. 327 00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,100 Well, you came out ahead, didn't you? 328 00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,230 Yeah, no contest. 329 00:14:00,270 --> 00:14:01,430 - Small world, eh? - Yeah. 330 00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:02,870 Isn't that funny? 331 00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:04,900 The two of us have something like this? 332 00:14:04,940 --> 00:14:06,370 I know. It's amazing, ain't it? 333 00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:08,910 When you came up from London, I thought, "Oh, fuckin' hell." 334 00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:11,280 Knee deep in cow shit. I didn't know what to expect. 335 00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:13,980 ( both laughing ) 336 00:14:14,010 --> 00:14:15,650 Why don't you fire one up? Just put one in. 337 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:16,960 - You want to see one? - Why not? 338 00:14:16,980 --> 00:14:18,380 They're gonna be busy in there for hours. 339 00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:20,390 - I were watching it only last night. - Were you? 340 00:14:20,420 --> 00:14:22,420 You gotta guess which episode. 341 00:14:22,460 --> 00:14:24,060 All right. I'm fairly confident. 342 00:14:24,090 --> 00:14:25,630 How many seconds? 343 00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:26,830 Give me five. 344 00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:28,220 - I'll give you three. - All right. 345 00:14:28,230 --> 00:14:29,760 Here we go. All right? 346 00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:32,000 Man: How do these look? 347 00:14:32,030 --> 00:14:33,630 - "Stakeout." - Oh! What?! 348 00:14:33,670 --> 00:14:36,100 - Keith: Series two. - Graham: That's a record! 349 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,440 I'm on two seconds. 350 00:14:38,470 --> 00:14:40,840 Keith: I love this one. 351 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,640 Does he wear orange well or what? 352 00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,850 - I love this bit. I love this bit. - Yeah. 353 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,920 Excuse me, miss. 354 00:14:48,950 --> 00:14:52,250 Can you direct me to the nearest muffler shop? 355 00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:55,490 Man: No, but I can help you clean your exhaust pipe. 356 00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:00,090 - PC Dawson? - PC Dawson? 357 00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:02,760 - Sergeant Biggins? - Sergeant Biggins? 358 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,670 Biggins: You idiot. 359 00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:07,270 Tonight is the prossy sting. 360 00:15:08,970 --> 00:15:10,640 Ah, Keith, mate! 361 00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:16,080 All right. 362 00:15:16,110 --> 00:15:18,280 Why your cabbage so small? 363 00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,980 It's a brussel sprout. 364 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:23,950 It's a brussel sprout. 365 00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:25,520 Witch put curse on cabbage. 366 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:26,750 Oh, no, they're lovely. 367 00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,260 They're lovely. You should try them. 368 00:15:28,290 --> 00:15:31,060 - No. - Monkey: Don't worry, she's hard to please. 369 00:15:31,090 --> 00:15:32,930 What are you doing with this? What is it? 370 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,560 It's my dress. 371 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,860 You steal from gypsy? 372 00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:38,730 No, it's... I'm being a maid in it. 373 00:15:38,770 --> 00:15:40,870 It's for the feast of St. Krakowitz. 374 00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:41,970 Oh, right. 375 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,500 You know, in the village? 376 00:15:43,540 --> 00:15:45,210 What's that... the feast? 377 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,070 We've done it for, like, centuries. 378 00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:50,980 It's, like, we've got loads of fun for all the fam. 379 00:15:51,010 --> 00:15:52,650 They've got coconut shies. 380 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:53,780 They've got the stocks, 381 00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:56,280 you know, where we throw tomatoes. 382 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,620 You must have heard of the Riddle Stomp Flap, yeah? 383 00:15:59,650 --> 00:16:00,720 - No. - No? 384 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:01,890 Oh, it's ever so funny. 385 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,820 It's from, like, the 13th century or something. 386 00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:07,430 But they do the dan... like, "One, two, three, huh! One, two, three, huh!" 387 00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:08,930 And then on the third "huh," 388 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,130 you kicks someone else up the bum. ( laughs ) 389 00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:12,570 This your festival? 390 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,870 - Yeah, yeah. - Not very good. 391 00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:18,010 In Moldova we have Festival of Life... 392 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,240 Targul de Fete. It very, very good. 393 00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:23,110 All the virgin, they go up to mountain 394 00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:25,050 to sing magic chicken 395 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:28,050 who give magic egg to virgin. 396 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,950 Then all men come and they sing 397 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:34,320 and dance and drink and eat all night. 398 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:37,460 At miezul noptii... is midnight... 399 00:16:37,490 --> 00:16:39,590 virgin put egg in mouth. 400 00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:43,600 In morning, sun come up, take egg from mouth. 401 00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:46,270 If egg no broke, she virgin. 402 00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:49,200 They love forever and marry. 403 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,670 If egg broke, she not a virgin. 404 00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:53,680 She prostituta. 405 00:16:53,710 --> 00:16:56,640 He throw big cabbage at her head. 406 00:16:56,680 --> 00:17:01,110 And baby dragon, he come out of egg and eat dirty lady face. 407 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,850 Well, sounds lovely. 408 00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:07,750 It very fun. You must come. 409 00:17:07,790 --> 00:17:09,320 Let's take this one up here. 410 00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:10,890 - If you'd just grab ahold of him... - I get to hold him? 411 00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,460 - Yeah, you get to hold him. - Oh, my God! Wow! 412 00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:13,790 - ( bleats ) - There you go. 413 00:17:13,830 --> 00:17:16,430 - Oh, hello. Hello, little fella. - Very good. 414 00:17:16,460 --> 00:17:20,030 Now hold him tight, and then with your other hand we just want you to... 415 00:17:20,070 --> 00:17:22,900 with... with these. 416 00:17:22,940 --> 00:17:24,610 What are those for? 417 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,440 For castrating the... castrating the lambs. 418 00:17:28,510 --> 00:17:30,080 Shut the fuck up. 419 00:17:30,110 --> 00:17:32,280 No, it's what we've gotta do. 420 00:17:32,310 --> 00:17:34,680 Because we're rearing these for meat. 421 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,620 - That seems... that seems really intense. - Oh, I know. 422 00:17:37,650 --> 00:17:39,520 Well, it's... it's really a lot more civilized 423 00:17:39,550 --> 00:17:41,090 than what we used to do... bricking. 424 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:43,390 - What's bricking? - You just get two bricks, 425 00:17:43,420 --> 00:17:45,290 any kind of bricks, household bricks, and... 426 00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:46,730 - really give them a... - Got it. 427 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:47,890 - Yeah? - Yeah. 428 00:17:47,930 --> 00:17:49,260 "Smash, crackle, and pop" we used to call it. 429 00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:50,930 - That's cute. - Yeah, you like that? 430 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:54,230 So get a good hold of that and, like I say, clamp on, 431 00:17:54,270 --> 00:17:56,100 twist and pull in a clean motion, 432 00:17:56,140 --> 00:17:58,200 so you get them... you pop them both off. 433 00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:59,410 - Got it? - It's farming, isn't it? 434 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:00,910 That's it. This is it. 435 00:18:00,940 --> 00:18:02,840 "Be bold, bloody, and resolute," 436 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:04,740 Shakespeare I think said. 437 00:18:04,780 --> 00:18:06,510 So, yeah. No time like the present. 438 00:18:06,550 --> 00:18:09,950 - I could feel its heart beat. - Yeah, I bet you can. 439 00:18:12,990 --> 00:18:15,090 - I need toilet. - Sorry? 440 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:16,520 Is there a loo out here or anything? 441 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:17,920 Sure, yeah. There's one in the barn. 442 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,430 I'm just gonna do that first. 443 00:18:19,460 --> 00:18:22,000 - You don't want to do...? - No, I can... I need to toilet. 444 00:18:22,030 --> 00:18:23,430 I need to do it. Sorry. 445 00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:24,830 Hand him back. There we go. 446 00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:26,430 But these will be waiting for you on your return. 447 00:18:26,470 --> 00:18:27,870 He's saying, "You've gotta nip these off." 448 00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:30,270 - Yeah. - "My little nuts." 449 00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:33,210 Ugh! Don't look at me. 450 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:34,870 - Don't look at me! - ( alpaca warbling ) 451 00:18:34,940 --> 00:18:36,410 - Ugh! - ( ringtone playing ) 452 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:39,950 Oh, God. Why now? Why...? 453 00:18:39,980 --> 00:18:43,180 - Hello? - Hey, Pete. It's Tom. 454 00:18:43,220 --> 00:18:44,650 Tommy! Ha ha. You all right, mate? 455 00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:47,290 Yeah. Um, quick question. 456 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,190 - I'm at the farm in Derbyshire. - Mm-hmm. 457 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,760 And the farmer wants me to castrate a lamb. 458 00:18:52,790 --> 00:18:54,430 We've all got problems, mate. 459 00:18:54,460 --> 00:18:57,900 I'm trying to bring off an alpaca into a tube. 460 00:18:57,930 --> 00:18:59,800 I wish I couldn't see what I can see now. 461 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:02,240 - Okay, I don't want to... - I've been doing it for 40 minutes. 462 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:03,670 Feels like my arm's gonna fall off. 463 00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:05,140 - Okay... - ( ringtone playing ) 464 00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:07,380 Oh, hey, wait... wait a sec... 465 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,710 You know what, Pete? I'm gonna have to call you back. 466 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:11,810 I've got another call coming through. 467 00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:13,580 Oh, yeah. No, go. 468 00:19:15,650 --> 00:19:17,490 Hello! 469 00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,920 Hello there. 470 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,320 Tom, hi. It's Al. 471 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,760 - And it's your cousin Kitty. - From California. 472 00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:28,730 - Hi! - Hello! 473 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,200 Great to finally meet you via satellite. 474 00:19:31,230 --> 00:19:32,930 I know. This is exciting. 475 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,800 It's nice and clear. 476 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,400 I didn't think we'd see you so good 477 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,570 through all that pea soup fog in Old Blighty there. 478 00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:41,010 Yeah. 479 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,510 It looks so... it looks so bright there. 480 00:19:43,540 --> 00:19:46,850 Well, we're in California, so it's very, very sunny. 481 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,080 It's morning and it's sunny 482 00:19:48,110 --> 00:19:49,750 and we just picked some fruit and ate it. 483 00:19:49,780 --> 00:19:51,680 Oh, I love fruit. I love fruit, Al. 484 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,220 - Yeah. - We pick it in the yard 485 00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:54,790 'cause we've got orange trees and... 486 00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:57,890 - We've got lots of trees. - You've got fruit in your yard? 487 00:19:57,930 --> 00:20:00,690 - You should come see it. - Don't say that, Al, 'cause I will come. 488 00:20:00,730 --> 00:20:02,430 - You should! Come stay with us. - We'd love it. 489 00:20:02,460 --> 00:20:04,160 You're a savior. That would be terrific. 490 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,260 I'll e-mail you some dates and you pick. 491 00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:07,830 We're serious. Come on down. 492 00:20:07,870 --> 00:20:09,700 Come "across the pond," as they say. 493 00:20:09,740 --> 00:20:10,940 Hop on over. 494 00:20:10,970 --> 00:20:13,140 Give us a tinkle first and let us know when. 495 00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,140 Okay. 496 00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:17,110 It's funny. England is funny. 497 00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:18,680 It is. 498 00:20:18,710 --> 00:20:19,880 Listen, we'll e-mail. 499 00:20:19,910 --> 00:20:22,380 ( laughs ) 500 00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:24,480 All right. Sorry, you're breaking up a tiny bit. 501 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,550 Thank you so much. 502 00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:27,920 - Okay. Cheers! - Okay. 503 00:20:27,950 --> 00:20:29,820 - Cheers! - Kitty: Cheerio! 504 00:20:29,860 --> 00:20:32,120 - Bye... - He's nice. 505 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,090 Kitty: He is nice. 506 00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:42,370 Ah, here he is. Man of the hour. 507 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:45,370 All right. Here we go. 508 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:46,470 Remember what I said? 509 00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:48,440 - Good purchase, twist and pull. - Yeah. 510 00:20:48,470 --> 00:20:50,210 - All right. - All right. 511 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:51,610 ( bleats ) 512 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,440 Okay. 513 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:56,950 Yeah, I don't think I can castrate a lamb today, Ronnie. 514 00:20:56,980 --> 00:21:00,080 ( laughing ) 515 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,650 - What? - Tom, I wasn't gonna make you do it. 516 00:21:02,690 --> 00:21:04,150 They don't even do it like this anymore. 517 00:21:04,190 --> 00:21:05,890 ( laughing ) 518 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:07,960 - You were just messing with me? - Yes. 519 00:21:07,990 --> 00:21:09,630 Oh. 520 00:21:09,660 --> 00:21:11,460 - That's not funny. - Well, it's quite funny. 521 00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:13,200 A bit of farmyard humor. Gets us through the day. 522 00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:14,730 ( laughs ) 523 00:21:14,770 --> 00:21:17,030 If I could walk like that, I wouldn't need talcum powder. 524 00:21:17,070 --> 00:21:19,440 ( laughing ) 525 00:21:19,470 --> 00:21:22,840 Did you bring your truncheon with you? 526 00:21:22,870 --> 00:21:24,640 No. 527 00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:28,880 Laughter's the best medicine, isn't it? 528 00:21:28,910 --> 00:21:31,110 - I wet myself sometimes. - Yeah. 529 00:21:31,150 --> 00:21:33,880 The older you get, the easier it is to wet yourself. 530 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,620 Yeah. 531 00:21:35,650 --> 00:21:38,020 Graham: Oh, God. He's a genius, he is, this man. 532 00:21:38,060 --> 00:21:41,860 - That's funny stuff. - If only coppers were like that today 533 00:21:41,890 --> 00:21:43,160 like they was then. 534 00:21:43,190 --> 00:21:44,960 What, dressed up in frocks? 535 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,930 - You don't mean that. - No, no. I mean, you know, real coppers. 536 00:21:47,970 --> 00:21:49,330 They were different then. 537 00:21:49,370 --> 00:21:51,530 That's the greatest bunch in the world, police. 538 00:21:51,570 --> 00:21:53,100 Oh, they're a bunch of wazzocks now. 539 00:21:53,140 --> 00:21:54,600 Listen, that's the toughest job in the world 540 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,440 and that's the toughest bunch, and they do a great job. 541 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,340 Mm. I think we might disagree on this, Keith. 542 00:22:01,380 --> 00:22:03,380 I think we might. 543 00:22:06,220 --> 00:22:09,990 We beseech Thee, Lord, send us less rain 544 00:22:10,020 --> 00:22:13,360 and protect us from BVD and bluetongue 545 00:22:13,390 --> 00:22:14,860 and trypanosomiasis. 546 00:22:14,890 --> 00:22:17,160 Thank You. 547 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,530 Amen. 548 00:22:19,730 --> 00:22:21,460 Please, help yourselves. Get the... 549 00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:24,830 Speaking of grace, do you know why God made farts smell? 550 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,240 - For the deaf. - Ahem. 551 00:22:29,370 --> 00:22:31,540 - Dad. - Keith: It was a joke. 552 00:22:35,310 --> 00:22:38,280 - So, um, Luba, is it? - Yes. 553 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,120 I've just finished reading 554 00:22:41,150 --> 00:22:43,890 Salman Rushdie's latest... 555 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,220 I'm allergic to fish. 556 00:22:46,260 --> 00:22:47,490 Right. 557 00:22:47,530 --> 00:22:50,330 So, you remember I said I was looking into 558 00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:52,400 my family past or our family past? 559 00:22:52,430 --> 00:22:56,770 - Uh-huh. - Well, turns out that William and Brian, 560 00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,400 our grandfathers, 561 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:00,940 had a bit of a falling out. 562 00:23:00,970 --> 00:23:03,010 And I don't really know what it was about. 563 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:04,640 Do you have any idea? 564 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,650 You want to hear about the dark side of Derbyshire Chadwicks, don't you? 565 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,050 - That'd be great. - Right, well, you'll like this, Keith. 566 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:12,350 - Will I? - Keith's dad William 567 00:23:12,390 --> 00:23:15,190 - and my dad Brian, they were brothers, right? - Right. 568 00:23:15,220 --> 00:23:19,160 And one day, William decided to tell Brian something 569 00:23:19,190 --> 00:23:20,660 which he should have kept to hisself. 570 00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:24,100 And it was who was Brian's real dad. 571 00:23:25,130 --> 00:23:26,830 It wasn't...? 572 00:23:26,870 --> 00:23:28,970 - Sorry, wasn't Harry his dad? - No it weren't. 573 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,010 - Shut up. - No, no, no, no. 574 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:34,240 Now, you see, Harry and Sid Balducci 575 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,280 - were part of the horse. - Yeah. 576 00:23:36,310 --> 00:23:38,180 - Yeah. Harry were back end. - Right. 577 00:23:38,210 --> 00:23:39,980 Sid were front end. 578 00:23:40,020 --> 00:23:41,850 Harry were married to Elsie. 579 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:45,120 - But they all went around together, you know. - Yeah. 580 00:23:45,150 --> 00:23:49,190 Well, one day, Sid and Elsie... how shall I put it? 581 00:23:49,230 --> 00:23:51,560 - She got front-ended, yeah. - She got front-ended 582 00:23:51,590 --> 00:23:54,160 and result was a lot of little redheads. 583 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,500 - Are you sure about this? - Am I sure? 584 00:23:56,530 --> 00:23:58,830 I'll show you something, shall I? 585 00:23:58,870 --> 00:24:01,040 See this? 586 00:24:01,070 --> 00:24:03,610 - Sid Balducci. - Sid Balducci. 587 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,210 Graham: We don't come from the ass end of the horse. 588 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,810 We come from front end, don't we, lad? 589 00:24:08,850 --> 00:24:11,520 So not to put too fine a point on it... 590 00:24:11,550 --> 00:24:14,320 the redheads are bastards. 591 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:19,690 Food was shit. 592 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,530 Yes. Come away, Bea. 593 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,830 Say good-bye. Yeah, yeah. 594 00:24:23,860 --> 00:24:24,860 Thank you so much. 595 00:24:24,900 --> 00:24:26,260 - No, not at all. - Thank you. 596 00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:27,730 Ronnie: And, you know, feel free to... 597 00:24:27,770 --> 00:24:29,800 if you want to get your hands dirty again on the farm, 598 00:24:29,830 --> 00:24:31,300 - you know where to come. - Sure. 599 00:24:31,340 --> 00:24:32,800 - We should hit the road. - Tom: Yeah, we should... 600 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:34,470 Very interesting meeting you all. 601 00:24:34,510 --> 00:24:35,670 Graham: Safe journey. 602 00:24:35,710 --> 00:24:37,110 Do you think we need to tell them...? 603 00:24:37,110 --> 00:24:38,580 - No, I think they... - But if they go... 604 00:24:38,610 --> 00:24:40,210 No, they found their way here. 605 00:24:40,250 --> 00:24:42,850 I'm sure they can find their way back. 606 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:45,550 Keith: If I had to be somewhere for eternity, 607 00:24:45,580 --> 00:24:47,920 - this would be all right, eh? - Luba: Yeah. 608 00:24:49,220 --> 00:24:52,460 There they are. The ginger Chadwicks. 609 00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:55,430 That's my grandmother on the end. 610 00:24:55,460 --> 00:24:57,500 - How do you say that? - Luba: Bunica. 611 00:24:57,530 --> 00:25:00,100 - My bunica there. - Hello. 612 00:25:00,130 --> 00:25:03,270 And there's Uncle Brian, mysterious Uncle Brian, 613 00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:06,870 and a woman named Sophia on top of him. 614 00:25:06,910 --> 00:25:08,610 You're next, Keith. 615 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,110 ( laughs ) You're not wrong. 616 00:25:10,140 --> 00:25:13,080 Hardly worth the trip home. 617 00:25:14,780 --> 00:25:17,780 Tom: I don't think I wanna be a farmer now, actually. 618 00:25:17,820 --> 00:25:21,190 They seem to be either too posh 619 00:25:21,220 --> 00:25:24,790 or... or too angry. 620 00:25:24,830 --> 00:25:26,830 At this stage I'm more interested in 621 00:25:26,860 --> 00:25:29,030 taking up Al on his offer 622 00:25:29,060 --> 00:25:32,470 of checking out California. 623 00:25:32,530 --> 00:25:35,970 You know? A bit of sun, sea... 624 00:25:37,510 --> 00:25:40,140 and their other stuff. 625 00:25:40,180 --> 00:25:44,110 I might be able to find out why Charles moved 626 00:25:44,150 --> 00:25:47,010 from America to England. 627 00:25:48,420 --> 00:25:50,420 Idiot. 628 00:25:50,450 --> 00:25:55,660 Sync and corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 629 00:25:55,690 --> 00:25:59,890 ? I was gonna love you like nobody else ? 630 00:25:59,930 --> 00:26:04,360 ? But I never really had a clue ? 631 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,900 ? How to love a girl like you ? 632 00:26:07,940 --> 00:26:13,740 ? Two true believers, we devised ? 633 00:26:13,770 --> 00:26:17,380 ? A temporary paradise ? 634 00:26:17,410 --> 00:26:21,850 ? Now our future is in the past ? 635 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,520 ? I should have known ? 636 00:26:24,550 --> 00:26:28,220 ? It wouldn't last ? 637 00:26:28,260 --> 00:26:32,290 ? I should have been a better man ? 638 00:26:32,330 --> 00:26:36,900 ? You could have been a better friend ? 639 00:26:36,930 --> 00:26:41,030 ? I'm alone, but that's okay ? 640 00:26:41,070 --> 00:26:43,040 ? I guess the dice ? 641 00:26:43,070 --> 00:26:47,610 ? Just rolled that way. ? 642 00:26:47,660 --> 00:26:52,210 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0